"NEVER deny a diagnosis, but ' do' deny the negative verdict that might go with it."                                                          

                                                                                  - Norman Cousins

Physicians have no right to do so, but many try to take charge of a patient's life, as well as the technical details of treatment...much like a grown-up dominating a child.  The sad truth is that many of us let them!

This past Thursday at 2:45 PM, I showed up for my appointment (along with my wife, Dawn), underwent some additional testing, and then waited (forever) in the room for the Oncologist to come.

She entered with her stack of papers and said,It's confirmed,You have it.  The DNA tests agree.  The blood work showed the Protein, etc.  However, your bone/skeletal x-rays show no problems, no pitting and you seem fine otherwise.  We'll start you on Chemo twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, two weeks on, one week off, and we'll do four cycles.  After that, we'll retest and see what the numbers say.  What I would like to do after that is "BLOOD AND MARROW STEM CELL TRANSPLANTATION".  You'll be in the hospital, in isolation for three weeks, and we'll see.  Remission tends to last longer.....Oh, the Chemo we'll use here weekly is called VELCADE, and on Thursdays we'll also include a powerful steroid called DECADRON.  Patients feel real good on the days they receive the steroid... although the steroid will likely mess with your Diabetes."
 

HHHHMMMMM....  "Well," I said... "I think I'd like to wait a little. After reading....WHOA!  A little participation here is perhaps in order." The doctor smiled.

Just a few days ago, my wife Dawn was rather upset about my even considering the Alternative Path to healing my Blood Cancer, "Multiple Myeloma".  With not a little sarcasm, she said, "Let's just fly down to Mexico and buy some peach pits to grind up and use those for treatment!"  (B-17 - Laitrile)  Remember, she is now back Teaching in Medical School...

I was given a great book and CD called Outsmart your Cancer - Alternative Non-Toxic Treatments that Work.  I read it, Dawn read it, (sarcasm disappeared) we ordered the Protocel, and are adopting the Alkalizing Diet, doing the Chi Gung and Meditating as well as exercising.  ( I truly believe that with the quality of mind I possess and what is usually shared with members of my family and Healing Team, with the Protocols I am employing, that I can beat this...we can beat this!)

The Oncologist said, "OK, we know Alternative Treatments are here to stay.  Make an appointment for 6 weeks and we'll do the blood work and see." ( This felt good, for Oncologists do not usually offer anything once the patient opts for Alternative Treatments...)! So after I have engaged in making myself healthy, and after 6 weeks of taking Protocel, etc. we'll see what gives.  Then, when I return from Israel in September, we'll check it again and see what it looks like.

I am not denying the diagnosis, just the attached negative verdict. 

In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche:

 "He who has a ‘why' to live can bear almost any ‘how'!"

I told my two sons, Thad and Noah, that I would be around for their college graduations.  My brother in Petaluma said, "Yup, so they need to get busy with post-doctoral studies now!"

I have always entreated people to "stop confusing knowledge with wisdom."  All life grows and dies, as all possessions rust and decompose. 

Reality can be a Bitch...therefore EMBRACE Compassion, both for yourself and those with whom you have decorated your life.

The Ancient Taoist Sage explained that "...reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away!"

I am changing...my perspective is changing.  In the words of James Thurber:

 "I will not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness."

I think I have learned for myself what I must learn; cancer, diabetes, heart attacks, cancer...  As my Native American family would say: "The Soul would have no rainbow if the eye had no tears."

I close this with something Carl Jung wrote:  "We cannot change anything unless we accept it [be it cancer, our weight or our so-called Carbon Footprint].  Condemnation doesn't not liberate [anymore than transference or denial does].  It oppresses."

Blessings,

Fred

P.S. I share this at the depth I can, simply to share, to help others who are going through trials...knowing that in the Stillness I can see more, in the Stillness I can hear more, perceive more and understand more...it's all about the quality of mind, for  we'll leave all else behind...