Starting Over

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  • #128807

    Anonymous
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    I began this program two years ago, didn’t fully commit to it, and lapsed at the beginning of Month 5, seven months after I started.

    Now I’m starting over, just finishing Month 1. Perhaps it’s the realization that I’ve been making a lot of lousy excuses to myself. Perhaps it’s the recognition that even though I’ll never achieve the level of expertise my ego wants, it’s better to get a small way along the path than not to travel it at all. Whatever, I’ve kept a daily commitment of at least 20 minutes non-negotiable. No excuses. This time around I look forward to it each day.

    I reread forum posts relevant to the month I’m on, so thanks to all those who have posted over the years.

    Is anyone else out there just beginning, or starting over?

    #133436

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hey Holly,
    I am at the beginning of Month 3, but still feel like I am at the start of this whole thing. Committing on a daily basis is actually enjoyably but I hit speedbumps all the time. Many times I don’t feel like I am hitting the marks that Bruce sets…like feeling my tantien….jeez I don’t know. i guess it will come.

    #133437

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi Chris,

    I think we feel like beginners for a very long time. I don’t worry too much anymore about not hitting the marks – It’s my experience that if I do my best and pay attention, eventually I get it, even if it’s months down the line. For example, counting from one to ten. I knew I had to let my fingers do the counting without hearing the words “1 – 2 – 3” in my head all the time. About a month in, I noticed one evening that the mental voice had ceased, without my paying much attention to it. Same with feeling parts of the head – when I began working on the third eye area, I noticed that previous parts were much easier to feel now. So for me it seems that if I just keep moving along the lessons, and don’t try to get everything “perfect,” the things I don’t get eventually catch up to me.

    Thanks for posting – it’s good to know someone else is in the beginning stages.

    #133438

    Anonymous
    Guest

    I fell off the wagon during month 8 and at the beginning of this year restarted at month 5. So far so good. The program is really worth the effort

    #133439

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi Holly, have just read your post. Just to let you know that I’ve been stacking the meditation files away in my archive, along with most of the bagua and tai chi programs. I now have quite a collection!

    Have you studied energy gates? I have, and though very eager to jump into bagua and seated meditation, I am simply not yet qualified. Doing bagua without really mastering, for example, the alignments of the knees, and the twisting of the leg muscles, is very counter productive. I think that is why Bruce told how in ancient times, classes of every level were strictly seperated from each other by very high walls! Same thing for meditation. I have listened to some of the tracks, and still watch dvds of tai chi and bagua, yet my whole practice is dominated by basic standing, alignments and sinking, and has been for years, but I am perfectly happy with the situation.

    You could say I have brought to the range and shown the main peaks, but still fumbling about with basic rope work in the foothills! Or again, you know when you download a video file from the internet; that it buffers far ahead of what it is currently displaying?

    I don’t know your background, but thought you may find my experience helpful in some way.

    #133440

    Anonymous
    Guest

    I have the same ‘issue’ as Guy. Altough I am member of the group, I started with the basic Longevity Breathing recently, focussing on that. I believe you need to grasp the basics first, and to me, this meditation programme is a more advanced form of the Longevity Breathing. So I have the one and the other to look forward to in the future :)

    Jan

    #133441

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hey, Holly! Good post. At some point a while ago I fell of the wagon too, pretty much around Month 11. Now I’m kind of contemplating whether I should move on, or go back to the beginning. I struggled with 11 for awhile, and finally moved on to Month 12. After almost deciding that it was back to the beginning for me, I realized there were a few places in Month 12 where I went, “Hey! I know what he’s talking about here! I recognize that!” so at least I feel I have something to work with. So I’ll just see how it goes, and see whether it seems best to keep moving forward, or start again.

    But at the same time, I notice that there are things that I worked on in the beginning that are feeling more natural to me now, like they’re clicking into place, things that mean something to me now that I felt like I didn’t get back then. And I don’t quite know when that happened.

    As they say in the UK – funny, that.

    #133442

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi Guy – In the late 80’s I began studying tai chi with one of Bruce’s senior instructors. Learning Energy Gates was woven into the classes, which began with standing and releasing, so our ability to do these practices developed alongside our tai chi practice. I liked this integration. Eight years ago I moved – the nearest EA instructor is 6 hours away. I stopped doing what I’d learned to do. Some years later, I discovered the EA website and got going again.

    Like you I have an impressive library of EA videos and books. While I’ve finished some of the programs and read some of the books, I’ve never made a commitment – been too much of a dabbler. Recent life events changed my habits, and I chose meditation as a reentry point. My limited experience practicing tai chi and Energy Gates adds a lot to the meditation. Once I trust that daily meditation will be a lifelong practice (it still takes effort), I plan to layer on other practices – probably tai chi and energy gates. I’d like to be committed now, before any life-altering illness or event comes along to give me that “I wish I had practiced more” moment.

    Though I generally like doing things in clearly defined stages, with these practices I’m becoming more comfortable with layers, with accepting that pieces fall into place when the time is right and that often, one practice enhances another. I’ve learned not to take so many measurements of “where I am” along the way. In my 60’s, I’ve abandoned expectation of becoming masterful in any of them. I may never get out of the foothills but the insights and experiences that come with even a minimal, dedicated practice is strong motivation to keep going.

    Best of luck to you in your practice and thanks for posting. I always gather encouragement from hearing what others think and how they are doing.

    #133443

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi Guy – In the late 80’s I began studying tai chi with one of Bruce’s senior instructors. Learning Energy Gates was woven into the classes, which began with standing and releasing, so our ability to do these practices developed alongside our tai chi practice. I liked this integration. Eight years ago I moved – the nearest EA instructor is 6 hours away. I stopped doing what I’d learned to do. Some years later, I discovered the EA website and got going again.

    Like you I have an impressive library of EA videos and books. While I’ve finished some of the programs and read some of the books, I’ve never made a commitment – been too much of a dabbler. Recent life events changed my habits, and I chose meditation as a reentry point. My limited experience practicing tai chi and Energy Gates adds a lot to the meditation. Once I trust that daily meditation will be a lifelong practice (it still takes effort), I plan to layer on other practices – probably tai chi and energy gates. I’d like to be committed now, before any life-altering illness or event comes along to give me that “I wish I had practiced more” moment.

    Though I generally like doing things in clearly defined stages, with these practices I’m becoming more comfortable with layers, with accepting that pieces fall into place when the time is right and that often, one practice enhances another. I’ve learned not to take so many measurements of “where I am” along the way. In my 60’s, I’ve abandoned expectation of becoming masterful in any of them. I may never get out of the foothills but the insights and experiences that come with even a minimal, dedicated practice is strong motivation to keep going.

    Best of luck to you in your practice and thanks for posting. I always gather encouragement from hearing what others think and how they are doing.

    #133444

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi Guy – In the late 80’s I began studying tai chi with one of Bruce’s senior instructors. Learning Energy Gates was woven into the classes, which began with standing and releasing, so our ability to do these practices developed alongside our tai chi practice. I liked this integration. Eight years ago I moved – the nearest EA instructor is 6 hours away. I stopped doing what I’d learned to do. Some years later, I discovered the EA website and got going again.

    Like you I have an impressive library of EA videos and books. While I’ve finished some of the programs and read some of the books, I’ve never made a commitment – been too much of a dabbler. Recent life events changed my habits, and I chose meditation as a reentry point. My limited experience practicing tai chi and Energy Gates adds a lot to the meditation. Once I trust that daily meditation will be a lifelong practice (it still takes effort), I plan to layer on other practices – probably tai chi and energy gates. I’d like to be committed now, before any life-altering illness or event comes along to give me that “I wish I had practiced more” moment.

    Though I generally like doing things in clearly defined stages, with these practices I’m becoming more comfortable with layers, with accepting that pieces fall into place when the time is right and that often, one practice enhances another. I’ve learned not to take so many measurements of “where I am” along the way. In my 60’s, I’ve abandoned expectation of becoming masterful in any of them. I may never get out of the foothills but the insights and experiences that come with even a minimal, dedicated practice is strong motivation to keep going.

    Best of luck to you in your practice and thanks for posting. I always gather encouragement from hearing what others think and how they are doing.

    #133445

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi Holly – your post got through – that’s good.

    I agree with all these very good comments.

    I watched the new tai chi dvds about storing and releasing energy in the ligaments which really blew me away. I tried it a little bit, with moderate success, but immediately noticed an improvement in basic standing, because of being able to fully relax into the ligament level. Another example of these layers I suppose.

    But I have a problem in letting go of the need for rapid improvement, or perfectionism of sorts. I have a little success in standing and relaxing into the ligaments, which is great and encouraging, but then demand more and more because I want more – more comfort, relaxation and progress. Then I over strain and end up where I started, resulting in extreme frustration.

    It seems that perfectionism is a problem that meditation is designed to solve, and yet perfection of meditation is needed to fully solve the problem of perfectionism. That’s a vicious circle that I struggle with to be honest.

    #133446

    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hello Holly,

    Thankyou for the post, i love the honesty in it and can relate to what feels to me to be the sense of frustration. I am only 37 and have been trying to engage with these practices on and off for about 12 years.
    ” Perhaps it’s the recognition that even though I’ll never achieve the level of expertise my ego wants, it’s better to get a small way along the path than not to travel it at all. ” I can completely relate to that, where i come from we say “Would you rather be at the bottom of a ladder you want to climb, or at the top of a ladder you don’t want to?” Like you i choose the first option but it isn’t easy is it?
    Anyway thankyou for the post and i sincerely wish you all the best on your path.

    Jem

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