Feeling Too Much

[Anonymous]

I’d like to preface my post by saying the only practice I’ve ever really done, was from “Opening the Energy Gates of Your Body”, and haven’t had a chance for personal instruction.

Anyway, I have started to have a condition that has started bothering me. I don’t know if this is simply something psychological, or actually caused by energy. In any case, I have started to “feel” other people when they do certain stuff, and it’s driving me nuts.

For instance, if someone closes a door quite forcefully across the hall, even if I know it’s going to happen and it doesn’t catch me off guard, I’ll feel it someplace in my body, for instance, in my arm. It feels like a foreign energy, it greatly bothers me. If someone stands close to me and stuff, I can feel something (aura? energy? just me thinking too much?) getting into my area, and it feels violating. Sometimes I’ll try to divert my attention or something, but it’ll still be there. Though I’ve made an effort to try and dissolve this stuff through the practices in the book, the stuff that works most frequently borders on obsessive compulsive tendencies- rituals I’ve made up that tend to fix the problems. Sometimes these feelings chain off one another, so the ritual has to start over and over, it’s driving me nuts!

Sometimes after a strong practice session I feel good, and then I ground everything and I feel nice and stable…. but then once I get back to daily life, it just happens again!

I seem to recall reading something somewhere in the energy gates book about dissolving the aura, or past the aura, but I can’t find it. To the best of my recollection, it was the lines of don’t get into it that much. Well occasionally in some of my practices, I’ll have dissolved something, but even just taking it to the ends of my aura feels like it’s boxing me in, so in some cases I’ve dissolved at the aura, and continued dissolving out until I didn’t feel it anymore (usually between 10 and 15 feet, in a couple of cases about 20). Again, not a frequent thing, just something I’ve tried a handful of times.

So my questions are- was this caused by dissolving at and past the aura? Is there a fix for this? What does dissolving at/past the aura generally do?

If not, anybody know the origin of the problem and how to fix it? In one of Bruce’s blog posts about energy vampires, he mentions that one can bring in the aura, closer to the body, and even withdraw to the central channel. Anybody have any advice on how to do this?

I don’t know if this is part of the water method tradition, or the ways it goes about doing things, but if worst comes to worse, any ways of blocking/keeping outside energies at bay, at least when I’m not practicing or in a state of mind in which I can deal with them capably?

Could really use some help with this. Some days it’s been so that I just can’t be around people, because each new thing will set me off.

[Anonymous]

Dissolving is something that is done through you, in a word, grace is the mover of obstructions. The one wanting freedom from distractions may unintentionally bind them, like flypaper, because the need to rid oneself of distraction/suffering affirms and strengthens the connection, the temporary conditon, where emotional resistance is the flypaper. An Alka Seltzer tab quickly dissovles in water more willingly than air, both fluids, because water is optimally conducive to the tab for rapid release. The mind is both structure and environment for dissolution of suffering, waking up when conditions are ripe – when the willingness to let go, surrender, dissolves mind-forms. But “seeing” the one who feels stuck and offended is key to all that one seeks freedom from, from what must be let go of. Surrendering to meditation, which allows grace, acclimates one to the subtle intention, surrender, and true humlity that may dissolve suffering and obstructions at any and all leveles of consciousness in time, in an instant. Surrendering is the master key, The Way of dissolving the binder of suffering, the despiser of peace, along with its baggage…the ball and chain of conditioning, is a first step as non-attachment to suffering and gain.

[Anonymous]

Hey Charles,

It sounds like you are feeling how your organism is woven into the environment. Where an external event resonates corresponding internal sensations.

For instance, I was sitting a short while ago and my house creaked. From the wave of the sound, my body tensed with the noise of the creak and my mind shifted to a spot on my leg (Why? I don’t know!) It really felt like a wave rolling through me.

Now, I am not really good at ‘outer dissolving’…I just sort of wait and look at the state of how I am. So I don’t know if ‘outer dissolving’ is the cause of this feeling. I have had similar experiences to what you said.

There are times where after deep mediation or chi exercises I feel balanced and capable, but then the next day some event or a bad choice throws my body or mind out of balance and I feel it too as if a toxin has contaminated my purity and sapped my strength! But, then I get to work on it again in practice.

I don’t know how to fix your problem because I think you are the only one who can find out how to do that. Keep in mind that sincere mediation tends to change you.

One word of advice I have is that meditation can be a way of living, not just being on the chair. But, that way of living challenges us to stay awake. I heard a saying a while ago: “If your not there, you might as well be dead.” Challenges are not always comfortable. They call out for your total response, which in itself may be a challenge!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, rspaddock, that’s pretty much how it goes for me.

Thanks for all the advice so far!

[Author]

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