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Well now into month 4, I think it is a good time to make a first balance of how our skills have improved in the process of “getting out of the head and into the body”.
I now have a much clearer sense of feeling the unity of the body although the sharpness of the awareness is kind of wavy still. But theres is definitely a feeling of something as one rather than many parts that call my attention in succession.
I don’t think I have learned much though about the “triggers for distraction”. Past the first couple of weeks I could keep count and stay present for the whole session. Although the clarity and scope of the awareness wavered as I said, I did not have the feeling of becoming distracted to the point of loosing the count let alone spacing out. I did have episodes of thoughts arising and that could make the counting waver a bit, like the feeling of “maybe I lost a beat”. I found the biggest cause of beginning of distraction (a) descending on the body too quickly or (b) becoming overly drawn to some change in a body part. Other than that I think that I have not learned that much about the triggers for distraction as I don’t think I became that much distracted.
I would like to hear what you learned on this regard (or any other important lesson you learned through the practice).
Be well.
I agree with you Adrian. I am not recognizing the “triggers for distraction.” I was hoping that the second half of month 4 with the emphasis on whole body awareness would help with this recognition. But so far, I can stay in the present more easily and be aware of my whole body at once. These triggers must be more subtle than I am expecting.
My triggers mostly involved a body part or correcting for a perceived collapse in posture. I got some beads and that has helped me get the counting out of my head. I’ve been using a meditation bench and that has helped me with posture and comfort. How do the rest of you sit? Burmese style, lotus, do you use cushions?
Ted, what kind of bench are you using. I am using a folding chair with a slightly padded seat. What kind does Bruce recommend and where can they be purchased?
Adrian, I think I feel exactly as you do on this topic. Thanks for bringing it up. I too feel like my awareness has become a little more clear, constant, and not as wavey as it was in the beginning. In the beginning, I could feel my awareness going on and off line, much like a bad connection, or a radio station that isn’t quite tuned in. This has become much smoother, but I am still having difficulty finding a direct association between something physical and oncoming distraction.
For me it feels like a matter of training – doing this repeatedly reinforces the habit of keeping the mind focused on the body. But I almost feel like any physical discomfort or other sensations almost keep me tuned into my body more as opposed to being related to spacing out or becoming distracted.
I think perhaps, as was mentioned, this correlation may lie at a layer more subtle than my mind can get to at this point.
I am just sitting in the very simple traditional Taoist posture, using a regular chair. I have some problems with pain, and last time I talked to Bruce he recommended that I use some cushions behind my back for support, and this way I can sit for longer periods. I have never heard him recommend any particular type of cushion/bench. I think the more important points are being comfortable, and being able to keep your alignments. I sit in half lotus some of the time, but discomfort usually reduces the time I can sit for.
Joan, I’m using a seiza bench made by a Colorado Zen Center. They are widely available. You can sit either sieza or burmese. It helps me keep my posture because the lotus position is a killer for me. As Catherine points out it probably doesn’t matter the sitting style. I was just curious what everyone else was doing. I really like this group, wished I had it years ago.
I’m just sitting in a chair, too, but a few months ago I started sitting on a cushion on the chair and that helps a lot. I have some back pain, too, but I found sitting on the cushion gets my body up a little higher and makes the erect spine easier.
I think that being comfortable while sitting or standing is important for the current work we are doing. Having said that, if you don’t progressively adopt more demanding postures, then your body will never be ready for them (unless you do some other specific training). That might be the subject of another set of sessions though.
As for the tuning in with the body, I tried something different today. Instead of being overly watchful for the body and its sensations I let it be after I got it roughly into my usual state of awareness, and then open up to the feeling of inner space and the feeling the energy and emotional bodies, just letting the mind grasp, from the space of the awareness (which is based on the ldt but I feel less or more clear depending on the moment) a feeling of “something more than the physical body”. The meditation felt so different and I could relate to the space inside in a much clearer way. Does this make sense?
So when a blockage is cleared and a space is opened, a troubling emotion and memory may arise. Bruce talks about not fixating on these emotions or memories. Any advice on how to let these go?
Well Ted – since we haven’t gone into any actual dissolving yet, proabably the simplest answer is to notice when you start to get caught up in a memory or emotion, and simply have the intention to return to whatever it was that you were doing in your meditation. In this way, you should have the feeling of letting go, as opposed to trying to force something to go away, or getting caught up in many thoughts about it.
Getting ahead of the program. I need more patience. I’ll try not to freak out.
Just had a great moment. Before today’s meditation, I reread instructions for Month 3, Week 4. Bruce said: “It’s not that your mind just goes off and starts talking to itself. You feel your body while your mind is going off and talking to itself. So you’re not only in your head, you’re also in your body.” I’d been feeling so defeated everytime my mind took off, and the more I fought it, the more I fell asleep. Nodding off became a frequent feature of every day’s meditation. So today I found a way to continue feeling my body while my mind cruised, and suddenly I discovered a trigger: my neck collapsing. I felt my neck move as I nodded off. When I raised it up, I had a sudden flash of visual clarity as if smoke had been cleared from the room. I could physically see more clearly – colors were more vivid. I was alert the rest of the meditation, and 30 minutes later as I write this, I’m still full of comfortable energy. It’s moments like this that convince me I’m not lost in the dark here, and motivate me to keep on going, even though I feel far behind most of this group – I start Month 4 next week.
That’s so excellent, Holly! Isn’t it interesting how one little breakthrough can change your whole outlook?? Don’t worry – I just started Month 4 myself, and I was one of the first ones to start. I am hoping that although some people are on Month 5 &6, that we can still keep the dialog going for those who aren’t so far along. I am very happy for you! A great example of how important it is to not give up when things don’t seem to be going well. You never know when you will have a breakthrough!
……..I agree it’s good to talk more (although some people are very quiet!). I’m on month 6 but find it very helpful it repeatedly iterate back to earlier months – and Holly’s revelation provides a very interesting insight into others’ experiences – I occasionally experience enhanced clarity, but it rarely lasts – although I don’t nod off – I’m either standing or sitting on a small narrow zen-style stool – either way nodding off could lead to a ‘tripping off the sidewalk moment’).
Personally, I find that some of my distracting thoughts are actually important enough to stop my meditation to make a quick note (otherwise I forget) – indeed I have lots of distracting good ideas during meditation – it seems that the calming of the mind allows particularly creative thoughts to emerge – bit of a ‘catch 22’ when I’m doing my best to remain present to the particular meditation task at hand!
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